Apr 19 2012

Dan The Pig

A lover of grandfather clocks.

This is the tale of a pig named Dan,
who drives around in a little white van.
Now and then,he has dinner with his gran
and the love of his life is a multi talented and hauntingly beautiful one legged chicken named Annabelle.
One day Dan and Annabelle decided to drive over and visit their friends the three little pigs, but when they arrived,a frightening scene confronted them.A big bad wolf was huffing and puffing his brains out at the homes of the pigs,intent on blowing them down and then eating the inhabitants.
“Quick,Dan,you must help them!” screamed Annabelle.
Without thought for his own safety, Dan launched himself at the wolf and a terrible battle ensued.This way and that they rolled with Annabelle occasionally shouting
“Stick the head in Dan!”
Although she is multi talented and hauntingly beautiful,Annabelle has been brought up in the north and thus,by association, is slightly lacking in class.I am reliably informed about this by my well educated southern friends.
After a while,Dan found himself tiring and sensed that the wolf was starting to get the upper hand.Discretion being the better part of valor,Dan jumped back into the van and he and Annabelle drove away at top speed. At that,the wolf returned to the job at hand,blew down all the houses and gleefully gobbled up the three little pigs.
(The endings of some fairy tales are sometimes misrepresented.)He then cast his mind to other things and slowly but deliberately, started heading towards grandma’s house.
Don’t miss next weeks exciting chapter in the thrilling lives of Dan and Annabelle entitled “DAN,DAN,CAN YOU SAVE GRAN!!”
(My money is on the wolf,but life being what it is,I suppose that once again, the poor old buggar will get the rough end of the stick.I mean,does it really matter if a bad tempered,windy little granny gets eaten from time to time, as long as it’s not someone we know?)
Footnote
——–
How Annabelle came to lose her leg was most unfortunate. She was in town one day, when she suddenly saw an absolutely gorgeous dress in a shop window and fell in love with it on the spot.
She dashed into the shop and said to the owner
“That dress in the window,I must have it, how much is it?”
“It’s the very latest fashion from Paris” said the owner, “and may be too expensive for you;it’s an arm and a leg.”
Annabelle,immediately replied,”Will you take an offer,will you just take a leg? and the rest as they say is history.

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