Jan 28 2004

The amazing tale of the one-eyed Grud

(and his fight to save the grandfather/longcase/tallcase clocks)

Down in the wood, The One Eyed Grud,
was searching around for some dinner.
He hadn’t eaten for several days,
and his belly got thinner and thinner.
He’d lived in the woods, all of his life
only home he’d ever known.
And because he was so ugly,
he’d always lived alone.
Although he wasn’t a handsome man,
he was really quite a nice chap.
And whenever he met a lady,
he always raised his cap.
One day in the wood, a fair maiden stood,
with tears rolling down her face.
She’d a patch on one eye, but still lost at I Spy,
she’d been sent to the woods in disgrace.
On hearing her cries, Grud dashed to her side
and said “What’s the matter with thee?”
On seeing The Grud, her heart gave a thud,
“You’ve only one eye just like me!”
The Maid and The Grud, soon fell in love,
and The Grud never left her side.
Three months later, at a Church in the wood,
The Maid became The Grud’s Bride.
One day from the stars, came a Spaceship from Mars,
and landed at Lords in mid wicket.
Six spacemen jumped out, and said with a shout,
“That’s the end of the cricket!
For we have come from a far distant land,
we intend to take over the world.
We’re after your blood!” but down in the wood,
The One Eyed Grud unfurled.
For The Grud was now happy, The Grud was content,
The Grud had a beautiful wife.
And he wasn’t allowing six Spacemen,
to spoil his now perfect life.
On hearing the news, Grud jumped to his feet,
and put on his best fighting cords.
In less than a tic, on a shuttle so quick,
he headed for London and Lords.
On reaching the ground,he had a look round,
’twas not a very nice sight.
The Scoreboard was down, The Tavern was closed!
and the people were frozen with fright.
In the midst of the pitch, six Spacemen stood,
dressed in their best Rocket Gear.
On seeing The Grud, they all laughed as one,
“He’s only one eye, he looks queer”
“Say what you like,” snarled the brave Grud.
“But I’ll take the lot of you on.”
With speed, skill and courage, five Spacemen were felled,
left standing was only Big Zon.
Big Zon was the leader of all the Spacemen,
it was he who had planned the attack.
If The Grud could just defeat him,
The Martians would never come back.
Big Zon and The Grud, fought toe to toe,
’til Big Zon pulled out his knife.
He stabbed at the Grud, and as Grud went down,
he knew he was fighting for life.
Still gasping for breath, he rose to his feet,
and smote down Big Zon with one stroke.
This was hard for the Grud, for ’twas well understood,
he was really, quite a nice bloke.
As the last spaceman fell, the people all cheered,
“We’re saved by the man with one eye!
It’s not how you look, it’s what beats within,”
and nary an eye was dry.
With the thanks of a nation and great strength of will,
the Grud recovered his health.
He did not seek fortune,for his wife and the woods were all that he needed for wealth.
If you’re ever at Lords, you may see some cords,
blowing free and unfurled.
If you do, bow your head,and whisper your thanks,
to The Grud who saved the world.

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